"Gonna tell a story morning glory all about the serpentine fire"
Earth, Wind and Fire
"Caught between the spirit and the dust
All the way to Heaven is Heaven
Deep inside of us"
Melissa Etheridge
"Caught between the spirit and the dust
All the way to Heaven is Heaven
Deep inside of us"
Melissa Etheridge
I've decided to write about something other than myself. Seriously. This is not about me.
It's about my hair. And energy. I just love talking about energy.
Oh, come on. You know you want to hear this story. It's got music, and beer, and more music, and more beer, lots of hairspray, a man cub, an Italian and a blues singer/guitarist...throw in a bottle of Feria Ruby Rush and you've got the evolution of a born-again, red-headed, two-faced Leo...at its very best!
Okay, it's about me. But it could also be about you. If something resonates, roll with it. If you see yourself, smile. And by all means, call me crazy...then take a good look in the mirror and pretend you're not struggling to figure out this thing called life. Just saying.
Actually, I'm not struggling so much these days. Simply put, we all reach a turning point in our lives...the point where we recognize and unravel old patterns that no longer serve our highest good. For me, it's the equivalent of deactivating the automatic pilot button and flying solo. And, so far, I've managed to avoid crashing...although I've clipped a few mountain tops here and there.
It certainly helps that I have deliberately avoided dating, in one way or another. I intuitively knew that in order for me to navigate a better path and not end up repeating myself like a record that skips and keeps playing the same thing over and over and over...well, I knew that I needed to STOP.
I don't know anyone who couldn't look back and recognize patterns. And it doesn't matter when or why. The only thing that matters is that you face them. That's what I'm doing, albeit in a rather strange way. But you know what? It's MY way...and I like it. So there. You are perfectly free to unravel your patterns in any manner that you choose. Unless, of course, you want the rest of your life to be exactly as it is right now.
So, hair. Specifically, mine. Hairspray? Oh dear God...I grew up in South Carolina, hairspray is running through my veins. And if you catch me on a bad hair day, keep it to yourself. That is how much I care about hair.
Oh yeah...man cub, an Italian and a blues singer/guitarist. Because sometimes evolution is just fun!
I wouldn't call my recent escapades "testing the waters" exactly, because I'm still contemplating the more subtle aspects of attraction...specifically, how attraction reflects attachment. Seriously folks, don't kid yourself. Whatever you are still attached to in yourself will present itself in the form of attraction. And the stronger the physical attraction, the stronger the attachment. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. If two people recognize and acknowledge this aspect of attraction, there is opportunity for growth. Unfortunately, growth usually takes a back seat to fighting instead. Too bad.
So, a wacky, spiritual, fun-loving, voluptuous redhead (that would be me) walks into a bar. Not long after, the most adorable man cub (that's "Cougar" for young enough to be my son) starts chatting me up. Cool. He first told me he was there on government business...something about homeland security? He is actually a banker, but who cares. We were flirting, and it was fun. I made my way back to the table with my girlfriends, who were laughing of course.
Mind you, I'm not on the prowl. At this point, I am studying my fiery, passionate nature for the first time in my life. After all, there is so much power and creativity in one's sexual energy, it seems a shame to spend it foolishly.
How many times in your life have you given that energy away? Be honest.
On a side note: Once, in a meditation class, my teacher discussed how those who have chosen a celibate life don't deny that lower nature. They simply channel that energy upward for the purpose of enlightenment.
Obviously I'm not ready for enlightenment, because the subject matter of this blog is on my list of things to evolve before moving on to the next life. When someone steals your fire, it's important to reclaim it first. Next, you have to own it.
Where was I? Oh yes. Red hair, fire, energy, attraction. Same night, same bar and, admittedly, a few beers later (hey, I wasn't driving), I walk outside to feel the evening breeze and enjoy an awareness of my self, and - Holy Cannoli! - along comes Mr. Italian. Literally, all up in my space...just like that! It was an unexpected shift in the flow of things. And it may have been my first Aquarius encounter. Makes perfect sense. I did go outside for a breeze right? Nice! I needed a little fanning to further me along this interesting path, and I enjoyed the totally shameless flirting.
However, this path does not involve a one night stand...so my girlfriends took me home. (Note: I also instantly intuited what the attachment aspect was.)
A few days later...I kissed a man! It was a weird, sweet, funny, awesome, and totally spontaneous moment in time. I don't know who was more stunned, him or me. Maybe it was his version of my favorite song by Albert King. Maybe it was his cute butt. Anyway, everyone in my circle knows that Personal Manager is my favorite blues song, ever. So mister blues singer/guitarist should have known better. I told him it was his fault. I also informed him that he was the first man I'd kissed since my divorce and that he was even more famous now. He thought that was funny. It is!
Here's what was weird about it: my Reiki hands very spontaneously came to life.
My hands always feel hot when I'm in healer mode, but that night they were on fire. It was truly bizarre. I found myself on stage with my hands surrounding this adorable, talented guitarist. He didn't mind. When the show was over, my hands followed him to the bar and he allowed that heat to flow into his heart. We were both grinning. Again it was weird. And we kissed. There was no tongue or groping, now mind you. He got the Kimmy Sue kisses. And those kisses had nothing to do with romantic love, sex, attachment or expectation. Although I was having a most awesome hair day, so possibly he wouldn't have minded taking Ruby Lou somewhere. But it didn't matter. That wasn't going to happen. Just to be sure, my dear friends Rocky and Sweet Pea took me home! Sweet! I will never forget that. That man/boy has the softest lips. Next time you're in Savannah, Georgia, by all means track him down and check that out. Tell him the crazy redhead with the hot hands sent you!
So what's the point? Well, I am learning something very important. And I am in total envy of those of you who already get it. However, if you happen to be sharing my path at the moment, I would encourage you to consider what I am sharing with you.
Vulnerability.
More importantly, discovering the joy and the bliss of being vulnerable and strong at the same time. Or, in the case of a fiery, passionate Leo...owning that fire completely, but with a new willingness to put it on the table. Things won't always go the way you think they should, but if you hang in there they will go the right way.
If you allowed yourself to be truly vulnerable, just for a moment, what is the worst thing that could happen? Chances are, it won't kill you. Or maybe, what is the best thing that could happen? Chances are, it will heal you.
Honestly, I've never had so much fun NOT getting laid. I think I'll not get laid a while longer.
On the road again...I love you all!
It certainly helps that I have deliberately avoided dating, in one way or another. I intuitively knew that in order for me to navigate a better path and not end up repeating myself like a record that skips and keeps playing the same thing over and over and over...well, I knew that I needed to STOP.
I don't know anyone who couldn't look back and recognize patterns. And it doesn't matter when or why. The only thing that matters is that you face them. That's what I'm doing, albeit in a rather strange way. But you know what? It's MY way...and I like it. So there. You are perfectly free to unravel your patterns in any manner that you choose. Unless, of course, you want the rest of your life to be exactly as it is right now.
So, hair. Specifically, mine. Hairspray? Oh dear God...I grew up in South Carolina, hairspray is running through my veins. And if you catch me on a bad hair day, keep it to yourself. That is how much I care about hair.
Oh yeah...man cub, an Italian and a blues singer/guitarist. Because sometimes evolution is just fun!
I wouldn't call my recent escapades "testing the waters" exactly, because I'm still contemplating the more subtle aspects of attraction...specifically, how attraction reflects attachment. Seriously folks, don't kid yourself. Whatever you are still attached to in yourself will present itself in the form of attraction. And the stronger the physical attraction, the stronger the attachment. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. If two people recognize and acknowledge this aspect of attraction, there is opportunity for growth. Unfortunately, growth usually takes a back seat to fighting instead. Too bad.
So, a wacky, spiritual, fun-loving, voluptuous redhead (that would be me) walks into a bar. Not long after, the most adorable man cub (that's "Cougar" for young enough to be my son) starts chatting me up. Cool. He first told me he was there on government business...something about homeland security? He is actually a banker, but who cares. We were flirting, and it was fun. I made my way back to the table with my girlfriends, who were laughing of course.
Mind you, I'm not on the prowl. At this point, I am studying my fiery, passionate nature for the first time in my life. After all, there is so much power and creativity in one's sexual energy, it seems a shame to spend it foolishly.
How many times in your life have you given that energy away? Be honest.
On a side note: Once, in a meditation class, my teacher discussed how those who have chosen a celibate life don't deny that lower nature. They simply channel that energy upward for the purpose of enlightenment.
Obviously I'm not ready for enlightenment, because the subject matter of this blog is on my list of things to evolve before moving on to the next life. When someone steals your fire, it's important to reclaim it first. Next, you have to own it.
Where was I? Oh yes. Red hair, fire, energy, attraction. Same night, same bar and, admittedly, a few beers later (hey, I wasn't driving), I walk outside to feel the evening breeze and enjoy an awareness of my self, and - Holy Cannoli! - along comes Mr. Italian. Literally, all up in my space...just like that! It was an unexpected shift in the flow of things. And it may have been my first Aquarius encounter. Makes perfect sense. I did go outside for a breeze right? Nice! I needed a little fanning to further me along this interesting path, and I enjoyed the totally shameless flirting.
However, this path does not involve a one night stand...so my girlfriends took me home. (Note: I also instantly intuited what the attachment aspect was.)
A few days later...I kissed a man! It was a weird, sweet, funny, awesome, and totally spontaneous moment in time. I don't know who was more stunned, him or me. Maybe it was his version of my favorite song by Albert King. Maybe it was his cute butt. Anyway, everyone in my circle knows that Personal Manager is my favorite blues song, ever. So mister blues singer/guitarist should have known better. I told him it was his fault. I also informed him that he was the first man I'd kissed since my divorce and that he was even more famous now. He thought that was funny. It is!
Here's what was weird about it: my Reiki hands very spontaneously came to life.
My hands always feel hot when I'm in healer mode, but that night they were on fire. It was truly bizarre. I found myself on stage with my hands surrounding this adorable, talented guitarist. He didn't mind. When the show was over, my hands followed him to the bar and he allowed that heat to flow into his heart. We were both grinning. Again it was weird. And we kissed. There was no tongue or groping, now mind you. He got the Kimmy Sue kisses. And those kisses had nothing to do with romantic love, sex, attachment or expectation. Although I was having a most awesome hair day, so possibly he wouldn't have minded taking Ruby Lou somewhere. But it didn't matter. That wasn't going to happen. Just to be sure, my dear friends Rocky and Sweet Pea took me home! Sweet! I will never forget that. That man/boy has the softest lips. Next time you're in Savannah, Georgia, by all means track him down and check that out. Tell him the crazy redhead with the hot hands sent you!
So what's the point? Well, I am learning something very important. And I am in total envy of those of you who already get it. However, if you happen to be sharing my path at the moment, I would encourage you to consider what I am sharing with you.
Vulnerability.
More importantly, discovering the joy and the bliss of being vulnerable and strong at the same time. Or, in the case of a fiery, passionate Leo...owning that fire completely, but with a new willingness to put it on the table. Things won't always go the way you think they should, but if you hang in there they will go the right way.
If you allowed yourself to be truly vulnerable, just for a moment, what is the worst thing that could happen? Chances are, it won't kill you. Or maybe, what is the best thing that could happen? Chances are, it will heal you.
Honestly, I've never had so much fun NOT getting laid. I think I'll not get laid a while longer.
On the road again...I love you all!
