He Said, She Said, We All Said...What????

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"I don't want to start
Any blasphemous rumours
But I think that God's
Got a sick sense of humour
And when I die
I expect to find Him laughing"

- Depeche Mode/Blasphemous Rumours

"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!"

When it comes to gossip, there are no innocent people.  Much of what we know, or think we know, has its origins in gossip.  And gossip isn't always bad.  When we gather, it is human nature to discuss more than the weather. 

I am the horse's mouth when it comes to my antics, but I have certainly been the horse's ass when it comes to the antics of others.  And we all know what comes out of a horse's ass!  This reminds me of an improvisational acting class I attended many years ago and a group exercise that was quite funny.  One person would tell a story about themselves to another, that person would then tell someone else...and so on and so on.  The last person to hear the story would then repeat that story to the group as a whole.  It was amazing - and hilarious, in fact - how much the story had changed by the time it reached the last person.  From the horse's mouth to the horse's ass, indeed.

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According to Robin Dunbar, author of Grooming, Gossip, And the Evolution of Language, we have simply improved the process of primate grooming.  I'm not going to take a scholarly leap here, because I'm not that smart.  Besides, that book has been written about by enough people.  If you haven't heard of it, however, I encourage you to check it out. 

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Simply put, we form groups and minimize intrusion by making statements that cement ties.  The world is too big and overwhelming to be friends with everyone, so we find a circle and sit around "nitpicking" until we're all clean.  And if that isn't enough, we stroke each other's fur until the feeling within the circle is mutual.

Basically, we're chimps with a better vocabulary.  And sugar coated with good intentions or dipped in shit, gossip is gossip...a billion dollar industry, and we want more! 

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Why?  The answer escapes each of us to varying degrees, but my youngest daughter seems to have a clue.  I asked her once why she enjoyed watching Jerry Springer.  With an easy grin, she said, "Because it makes me feel better about myself."

Out of the mouths of babes, right?

Seeing as how I've already failed the Google AdSense test, I won't further elaborate.  No need to.  When it comes to gossip, accept that we all do it.  After all, language and motor skills are the only things that separate us from chimps. 

In conclusion, I will refer to a man who always sums it up best:  “If someone says something unkind about you, live so no one will believe it.” – Dalai Lama

Baby Got Back?

"I am open to the guidance of synchronicity, and do not let expectations hinder my path."

 - H.H. The Dalai Lama

We all have values and expectations that define who we are as human beings and, right or wrong, I have always had strong feelings with regards to knowing that those closest to me “have my back.”

Clearly I am doing something wrong.  Possibly, I expect too much.

Maybe I should reflect on what that means to me. What does it feel like when someone has my back? More importantly, why is that feeling so important to me?  Is there a different meaning for relationships?  Friendships?  Co-workers?

I don’t think so.  I’m pretty clear on that.

Either someone has your back, or they don’t. Unless, of course, sometimes they do…and sometimes they don’t.  There must be some discretionary rules that I don’t know about.

Should I be focusing on the expectation instead?  Maybe.  Expectation is a precursor to disappointment.

And since we're all in this together, I guess we should replace expectation with more acceptance of what is...and forgiveness for what isn't.  Which is not to say that we don't have choices.  It is just as important to choose what you will and won't allow in your life as it is to accept and forgive what you shouldn't have. 

In the process of becoming a Reiki Master, I have certainly uncovered layers of myself that I needed to look at, accept and forgive.  I have kicked up the dirt, felt it with my own hands and struggled to allow that loving, universal energy soothe my soul.  However, it's important to know that once you begin uncovering the layers that a process has begun.  And like chemo for cancer, sometimes you have to get really sick in order to get better.  You might say this is when the shit hits the fan.