The Dating Game Part III: High or Low Maintenance?

"Well it sounds like Contestant number two is just overflowing with

sensitivity Sharon. It's a tough choice so far. Sharon lets have your last

question and see which one is gonna win the rights to your Neden."

Insane Clown Posse

If I ever want to get laid again, I should probably stop blogging. 

Sorry.  When you get the ball rolling with Insane Clown Posse, chances are potty mouth will be kicking it around. 

And then there's this:

The 12th-century book The Art of Courtly Love advised that "True love can have no place between husband and wife." According to one view, clandestine meetings between men and women, generally outside of marriage or before marriage, were the precursors to today's dating.

Having said that (and probably unrelated), it has recently been pointed out to me that I am too low maintenance. Lady friends are chomping at the bit to elevate me to a higher level, and I'm getting all sorts of advice on the do's and don'ts.  I told one friend that I didn't want to be too high maintenance and she immediately cut me off and said, "You should be!"

This is a conundrum.  I do not know exactly how to be high maintenance. I've made attempts, but somehow I just haven't pulled it off.  My masculine Ruby Lou energy definitely has the attitude and the sex appeal, but I think my downfall has always been Kimmy Sue...the overly intuitive part of me that sees the good in everyone, and makes excuses for everything else.  And then ultimately, just gets pissed off. 

Talk about a vicious cycle.  Self abuse anyone?

Yep, Kimmy Sue was raised to speak when spoken to and always clean her plate, no matter how bad it is. You could put a bowl of shit in front of her and she'd say, "Mmmm...shit...I love shit...can I get nuts with that?...oh, is that corn? I just love corn!"  Hell, KS will ask for seconds. The bad news is she simply must have the recipe so she can take it home and make it better, at which point she will turn it into a casserole and throw it back on the table.  On a good day, she might give you a shit biscuit to go with it.  On second thought, that might be a bad day...as in, that's probably KSRL for "getting even."

(Translation:  Codependent behavior, followed by a shit fit.)

Obviously, a big part of my evolution is a struggle to find the balance between being polite and speaking up for myself.  This could also be referred to as compassion with boundaries. 

If you are a girl raised in the south, you know exactly what I'm talking about. 

Back to compassion with boundaries.  When you miss the mark regarding compassion with boundaries, then you have anger and you have to acknowledge that anger projected is usually anger with yourself.  If the law of attraction dictates that you get what you ask for or expect, then you really can't be angry with anyone but yourself.  Forget all the bullshit you believed based on your PAST personal experience. It doesn't matter.  All that matters is what you accept for yourself right now.  I'm learning this at a faster rate than ever before.  It ain't easy let me tell you, but I am determined. 

So.  Low maintenance.  I once dated a guy for over a year and he took me out to dinner once.  Nice guy actually, but very selfish.  Now, the Kimmy Sue part of me understood why. It had nothing to do with money either.  But I accepted it.  Oddly enough, he never got a shit biscuit.  Possibly because he was the best kisser in the world, ever, to this date. At least I got something out of it. Anyway, that was one wounded little boy and all I could do was shower him with kisses and a compassionate ear.  Yet, I felt unappreciated.  After I broke up with him, he told me he loved me.  Go figure.

Somewhere in the middle was a history teacher that I dated for 2 1/2 years.  He satisfied my need for quirky conversation and we took turns buying dinners.  Truthfully, this seems fair to me.  I've never been on board with men having to pay for everything.  He also had the best butt in the world, ever, to date.  Seriously, he could be a butt model.  You know, now that I'm thinking about this experience I want to say it was a pleasant, benign break from everything.  It wasn't exactly right, but it wasn't wrong. 

I did have one really good experience with a wounded little boy.  And it gives me hope for the future because the memories remind me that it is possible to find the balance between mutual comfort (we're all wounded right?) and codependence.  We saved each other. 

I won't bore you with more stories, but here's where I mention a close friend and unofficial spiritual teacher who highlighted my tendency to attract wounded little boys like stink on shit. 

In closing, I will admit that I still haven't found the perfect balance between being polite and speaking up for myself.  It's a work in progress.  However, Ruby Lou has truly shown Kimmy Sue her balls.

So, ladies...KSRL speak for high maintenance:  if your balls are bigger than what's knocking on your door, it ain't got no business "sniffing your Neden."

By the way, this is not an angry blog.  I am grateful for everyone that has crossed my path and helped me to get where I am now.  I'm also laughing. Hey, better late than never.

And I can't tell you how much fun it is to have names for my own duality.  KSRL is but one way to evolve.  There are many, but this is my way...spiritual comedy.  Unfortunately, sometimes I nail the punchline and sometimes I don't. 

Also, (having a Leo moment here) I'm an official acronym...check it out:

http://www.acronymgeek.com/KSRL

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