"Fire, water...air and dirt...fucking magnets...how do they work?"
Quoting Insane Clown Posse again was not intentional, I swear. They're just so fucking brilliant! This blog will not be...but you'll laugh!
So, my friend Isa, another Leo/fire sign, and I got together for some Little G Weevil at Blind Willie's. Of course we sat up front, because the pedestals - I mean bar stools - were too far away from the action. And of course we were loud. That's just how it is. Photo session with Little G? Absolutely! Hair? Fabulous! Fabulous meaning somewhere between don't fuck with me and just got laid. Seriously, when it comes to Leos, if you don't know what you're doing...don't touch the hair! Just get it over with.
The only thing missing was a couple of scorpions lurking in the background.
The only thing missing was a couple of scorpions lurking in the background.
For some reason, I'm hearing Cheech and Chong, although they are totally not Scorpios...but for the purposes of this blog, my Scorpios will have hippie Mexican accents. No offense to either Scorpios or Mexicans.
Scorpio Cheech: Duuuuude...this water is cold, it's fucking freezing in here!
Scorpio Chong: Keep it down man, keep it down! Smell that?
Scorpio Cheech (sniffing): Ohhhhh...dude...is that what I think it is?!
Scorpio Chong: Shhhhhhhhhh! Siiiii...it is fire...and not just any fire...it is the...
Unison: Jungle Boogie! Score! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Scorpio Chong: Yeah man, those bitches can hear a hyena fart two jungles away.
Scorpio Cheech: So what's the plan?
Scorpio Chong: We have to study this situation...one false move and they'll eat us for breakfast.
Okay...SCENE!
This isn't complicated. When it comes to elements, fire and water are very predictable. Actually, fire is more predictable...but both are strong forces of nature. Both have the power to destroy everything in its path.
Like this:
Scorpio Cheech: Duuuuude...this water is cold, it's fucking freezing in here!
Scorpio Chong: Keep it down man, keep it down! Smell that?
Scorpio Cheech (sniffing): Ohhhhh...dude...is that what I think it is?!
Scorpio Chong: Shhhhhhhhhh! Siiiii...it is fire...and not just any fire...it is the...
Unison: Jungle Boogie! Score! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Scorpio Chong: Yeah man, those bitches can hear a hyena fart two jungles away.
Scorpio Cheech: So what's the plan?
Scorpio Chong: We have to study this situation...one false move and they'll eat us for breakfast.
Okay...SCENE!
This isn't complicated. When it comes to elements, fire and water are very predictable. Actually, fire is more predictable...but both are strong forces of nature. Both have the power to destroy everything in its path.
Like this:
Or like this:
Either way, you're going to lose the house. Indeed. This pairing falls into the category of "hot mess."
And if you look at what's going on in the world today (or, for that matter, at any time) the struggle between these two elements is obvious. The quest for fire and the need to control it will never cease. The need for water is obvious. This is why Leos and Scorpios, fire and water, are such natural magnets. They need each other. And while there's an inherent struggle for power that plays out really well in some ways, finding balance in other ways is very tricky.
Between the two of us, Isa and I have five Scorpio ex-husbands. We'd be good candidates for cosmetic surgeons specializing in the removal of scorpion ass sting scars. Apparently, her ass has room for a few more because she has a date with one tonight. Please join me in prayer.
Seriously, my last Scorpio husband stung my ass good. His need to control my fire was so great that I had one tiny little flame left in the end. Fortunately, it was enough heat to slowly bring me back to the surface of those dark, murky waters. I had to crawl back to the jungle. Needless to say, my hair was a mess. It took years to comb that shit out!
So. Fire and Water. Steam heat on a good day. Sauna in hell the next. Completely drowning is a possibility as well.
Have you ever tried fire and fire? Yeah. I had the brilliant idea to marry another Leo. Talk about the blind leading the blind. No kidding. Every bad habit you have, latent or otherwise, will join forces in a blaze of glory. This is when all hell breaks loose. You don't need flood insurance. And this pairing falls into the category of "fucking stupid."
It looks like this:
And if you look at what's going on in the world today (or, for that matter, at any time) the struggle between these two elements is obvious. The quest for fire and the need to control it will never cease. The need for water is obvious. This is why Leos and Scorpios, fire and water, are such natural magnets. They need each other. And while there's an inherent struggle for power that plays out really well in some ways, finding balance in other ways is very tricky.
Between the two of us, Isa and I have five Scorpio ex-husbands. We'd be good candidates for cosmetic surgeons specializing in the removal of scorpion ass sting scars. Apparently, her ass has room for a few more because she has a date with one tonight. Please join me in prayer.
Seriously, my last Scorpio husband stung my ass good. His need to control my fire was so great that I had one tiny little flame left in the end. Fortunately, it was enough heat to slowly bring me back to the surface of those dark, murky waters. I had to crawl back to the jungle. Needless to say, my hair was a mess. It took years to comb that shit out!
So. Fire and Water. Steam heat on a good day. Sauna in hell the next. Completely drowning is a possibility as well.
Have you ever tried fire and fire? Yeah. I had the brilliant idea to marry another Leo. Talk about the blind leading the blind. No kidding. Every bad habit you have, latent or otherwise, will join forces in a blaze of glory. This is when all hell breaks loose. You don't need flood insurance. And this pairing falls into the category of "fucking stupid."
It looks like this:
I'm not well versed in any of this, but I'm capable of decent general analogies. Air and dirt? I'm guessing the worst case scenario is this:
Since I'm not a meteorologist, I won't attempt to elaborate on the many variations. There's mudslides, earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes...yadayadayada. It's all about control.
In a perfect world, the elements find harmony. It looks something like this:
Nice! Not too windy. Probably not humid. I'd save a fortune on hairspray!
Whatever your element, BE IN IT! Claim it, own it and share it where needed...but don't ever give it away or let anyone steal it.
Rather simplifies the whole concept of think globally, act locally doesn't it?
SO thank you VERY much for reminding me that I need to do only ONE thing before ever going out with ANY man again, as long as I live. Isa - "Were you born in November or do you have any sign of Scorpio in your astrological house, in any way?" He- "Why, yes, as a matter of fact...." Isa- "Check please."
ReplyDeleteIsa! You're so funny!
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