Rainbows and Moonbeams: I Have Never Laughed So Hard!

This is another big hair,  Carolina girl story.  I might have been 24 or 25.  I looked like this:

Actually, my hair was much bigger than that in my twenties but this was taken on my 30th birthday and by then I had downsized in the hair department.  However, makeup and hairspray were still essentials.  I sometimes wonder if I am personally responsible for all those holes in the ozone layer.  I'm sure really bad hair karma awaits me in a future life.

But enough about hair.  In my twenties I was raising my first daughter, alone...having said a tearful goodbye to her Palestinian father, to this day the biggest heartbreak of my life.  (You can read about it here if you like.)  And I was on the path of spiritual discovery. 

My best friend was a 250 pound Catholic girl from Long Island, NY.  She worked as a dispatcher for the Greenville County Sheriff's Department, possessed a very dry sense of humor and an impatient acceptance of my antics.  So when I asked her to tag along to this crystal workshop I'd heard about she did what she always did...rolled her eyes, took a drag on a menthol cigarette and said, "this oughta be good."  I told her it was at this really cool, new store called Rainbows and Moonbeams.  The stoic glare on her face spoke volumes but she summed it up by saying, "can't wait."

If there was a YouTube video of that evening, it would be the funniest thing ever.  Even now, I can still say that I have never laughed so hard in my life.

So we arrive.  Me and my big, late 80's hair, holy jeans, black gargoyle t-shirt and a burning desire to uncover the meaning of life.  My BFF?  Big ass, big perm and an immediate dislike for patchouli air and a room full of pot-smokin' hippies cramming pita chips in their mouth while inviting everyone to have a seat on the floor (keep in mind BFF is very large and not at all happy about sitting on the floor). 

And so begins the workshop, and I'm a little nervous.  Mainly because BFF is giving me "the look" and I'm trying not to notice.  I give her a big smile, she smirks and the crystals are presented.  The first thing we learn is that you don't choose a crystal, a crystal chooses you.  As we're passing around the crystals, a young girl tells a story of a crystal that followed her to Alabama.  Seriously?  Did it take a bus?  Even I'm stifling a giggle at this point and BFF is really giving me "the look."  The one that says, "I hate you." 

In time the crystals had chosen their BFFs and we were instructed to place them on our heads and close our eyes.  I kept one eye open because a rather sinister looking hippie was staring at me, pointing a two-pronged metal thingie in my direction and saying some of us are in serious need of healing.  BFF kept one eye open to maintain "the look" lest I forget that I was the one who suggested this. 

We were later asked to go outside.  Nice.  It was a beautiful, sunny, summer evening and fresh air seemed like a good idea. We joined forces on the sidewalks of a very provincial downtown Greenville, South Carolina and the first order of business was to find a tree that we liked and hug it.  I'm not making this up...we hugged trees.  I'm really getting "the look" now and I can't even smile back, because if I do I'm going to lose it.  As if that wasn't enough, we were then asked to kiss our tree.  Okay.  BFF isn't just giving me "the look," she speaks.  She says the words I will never forget:  "I ain't kissing no f****ng tree."  Again, I'm not smiling.  I kiss my tree and await further instruction.  BFF is ready to kill me, but first we have to cross the street to the beautiful fountain in front of the Hyatt Regency.  Normal people are milling about in large numbers as we cast imaginary tears from our dry eyes into the fountain.  Now I have nothing against rituals, but we could've picked a better spot.  A secluded field or farm maybe? 

I'm not sure what happened after that - and I may very well be blocking the memory - but eventually we were free to leave.  Now I have every respect for another's beliefs and I wasn't about to make an early exit or laugh at an inappropriate time, but after quickly making our way to the car and rolling up the windows it was time to release some very real laughter from the gut.  It was the kind of laughter that takes your breath, hurts your stomach and threatens to soil your pants. 

Again, I have never laughed so hard in my life. 

That was more than 25 years ago and I have come a long way on my spiritual path.  I'm still open minded, still respectful and I have since become a Reiki Master Practitioner Teacher (that's a mouthful I know), but I am much more grounded in the application of and attitude towards spiritual matters. 

However, funny is funny!  And a song from Sesame Street just popped into my head.  Who are the people in your neighborhood?  Remember that?

Oh, and I'm not making fun of hippies.  I consider myself to be one, sort of.  And I love trees.