Sentient Beings: Fifty Shades of Ass...she's so silly!

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - Dan Quayle

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Once in a while it helps to be reminded that there are people out there who make less sense than I do.  Whew.  I can do crazy ass, cryptic ass, crude ass, evolving ass, freak ass, shy ass, smart ass, stubborn ass and, my personal favorite, bongo ass...ahem...but dumb ass is not on my list of things to be when I grow up. 

I'm currently feeling a strong, unfettered reconnection to my silly ass.  She looks like this:

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And she thinks this is great advice to all sentient beings:

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It's like AA, but for dumb asses!  I've never been there, but the brochure looks nice.

As for Fifty Shades, I just finished the trilogy so I had to throw in a reference.  Part of reconnecting with my silly ass and putting my evolving ass on the shelf for a bit.

What did you think of the trilogy?  I can honestly say that the story was entertaining, but I simply didn't find myself sitting around drooling over all the sex scenes.  As a matter of fact, the sex scenes were so redundant that I found myself skimming over most of them in order to get back to the personalities beneath the "kinky fuckery."  Oh, there they go again...he's tying her up again...oh, look at that, he's spanking her again...yep, she likes it...again! 

Seriously.  Once upon a time, I was a Criminal Justice major.  I was more fascinated with the psychology of the criminal mind.  You know...WHY did Jeffrey Dahmer drill a hole in someone's head and pour battery acid in there?  Now that's psycho ass! 

Recently, a new breed of ass was discovered...the psycho dumb ass.  Yeah, apparently this ass makes an appearance when you have the brilliant idea to ingest something called "bath salts".  And if you're into that, followed by getting naked and chewing human flesh, you are not only dumb...YOU ARE  PSYCHO!  So.  Psycho Dumb Ass.  In my opinion, this is the the most dangerous. 

Don't get me wrong.  I'm all for a little ear nibbling, but if you draw blood...game over! 

Back to "Fifty Shades."  I wouldn't place BDSM in the fetish category.  After all, a little spanking never hurt anyone.  Cuffing and spanking, or being the recipient of, simply isn't weird enough to be a fetish. 

When I think of the word fetish, I am reminded of an episode of Law and Order (or maybe it was NYPD Blue).  Anyway, a young girl was the victim of someone with a foot fetish.  More specifically, crushing things with feet.  There was a creepy video found of this young girl crushing a worm with her foot.  (Damn.  I sure hope my batteries aren't dead, because that shit is hot.) 

Okay, I'm kidding...although, she did have a really nice pedicure.  So.  Fetish Ass.  Oh baby!

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The whole "Fifty Shades" craze just reminds me that people are fucking strange.  You never know what they're really thinking or what they might be like in private.  For instance, I once dated someone who was perfectly normal - in a manner of speaking and what's normal anyway? - but I'll be damned if he didn't get off on licking my teeth.  WTF?   Now, it's normal to graze a molar or two in the course of kissing...but when you are deliberately licking someone's teeth like candy, well, that's just fucking weird.  I eventually spoke up and put a stop to that.  It was very distracting.  Nose licking, however, is where it's at.  Just saying.  (Yes, I'm kidding...this is silly ass blog, remember?)

Now if you'll excuse me, my silly ass has some more shameless flirting to do.  I shall avoid teeth lickers and anyone staring at my feet for more than two seconds.

As for Alicia Silverstone...she might actually have a clue.  In the course of writing this silly ass blog, I discovered her website http://www.thekindlife.com/
Now she is a sweet ass, so be sure to check it out.  I'm definitely going to try the truffles.

Silly ass signing off, for now.